Dacă cineva îmi spunea că încălzirea globală înseamnă că eu, în mijlocul Brașovului, un cătun simpatic ascuns între munți… dar revenind, eu ajung să mă ascund în frigider ca să simt un pic de răcoare, probabil învățam și eu ceva din Titanic și de la maestrul Leo când o învăța pe Rose sa scuipe.
Dar revenind, că divaghez… totul a început pe la mijlocul lui iunie și a lovit cum lovește un vasluian cu parul în ușă când vine rupt de la crâșma din sat și și-a uitat cheia. Direct un șut de 35 de grade în rinichi și lumea era pe jos.
Ce a fost mai sălbatic a fost însă la începutul lui iulie, când frumosul și pitorescul Brașov s-a confruntat cu o căldură pe care eu personal nu credeam să o mai resimt vreodată. Dacă aveai atâta tupeu să ieși până afară, simțeai cum te topești, cum începe să îți apară transpirația fără să faci nimic. Simțeai că e atât de fierbinte aerul că se evapora și pipi-ul din tine.
Și așa, prieteni, am dus-o 2 săptămâni, dacă nu și mai bine. Cu călduri noaptea, cât și ziua, de simțeai pur și simplu că nu ești decât o baltă de sudoare. Era așa cald că, dacă făceai duș, apoi mai făceai unul, dar cu transpirație.
Am încercat să merg la sală. În afară de faptul că aia sunt așa zgârciți că au reușit să monteze un aer condiționat pentru 2 încăperi, făcând o gaură în perete și împărțindu-l în două, mergea și nu mergea; era un fel de căcat cu ochi, dar nu zâmbea. Oricum, când am plecat de acolo, și nu m-am rupt cu exercițiile că deja eram un vulcan de nervi, tricoul era leoarcă pe mine, adică, când l-am dat jos, avea 10 kg de la mine, de zeama personală. Cred că, dacă voiam, puteam ucide cu tricoul ăla, atât de greu era.
Revenind, când am ajuns acasă, eram așa nervos că am băut 2 litri de apă să refac rezerva de transpirație.
Problema nu este neapărat căldura, cât faptul că a durat așa mult. În viața mea nu am văzut parcurile și locurile de joacă goale la ora prânzului. În afară de câțiva oameni ai nisipurilor în căutarea PET-urilor, nu găseai pe nimeni.
Sunt curios cum mirosea în autobuze între atâtea persoane… vă gândiți… cred că era un amalgam de mirosuri și hoții de buzunare, cred că dacă încercau să fure ar fi pipăit doar supă de fund, așa de leoarcă era lumea.
Deci, per total, pinguinilor, fiți pe fază că vin!
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